What I learned as a mentor #6 - Christopher, Lori

“A couple of years ago, I was in a season where God was desiring to teach me about fatherhood. As a single guy, I was curious as to what lessons He wanted to teach me and how He was going to bring that about. What transpired was me getting involved in four different, intentional relationships with four guys of varying ages. The oldest guy was 59 while the youngest was my 2nd grade Kids Hope kid of eight years old. 

Though it would be silly to think that spending an hour a week is a strong comparison to the rigors of being a full-time dad, what I did gain in a practical way was the experience of giving sacrificial love. To choose to show up and give your heart, time, and attention to someone regardless of how you’re feeling, what else is going on in life, or how the person you’re loving is responding, receiving, or reciprocating that love is both a rewarding and a humbling experience.

Seeing - especially through the stories/testimonies of others shared via email and church services - the impact Kids Hope makes in the lives of not only the kids but those in contact with them, is powerful and sticks with you. In fact, I was just visiting with two teachers from out of state who were commiserating about their lack of help with emotionally & behaviorally challenged children at their elementary school and immediately knew that establishing Kids Hope there could help to alleviate their problem. One had heard about Kids Hope USA before and both were intrigued and glad for the information I provided. They are now looking into having the program at their own school!” -Christopher

I had listened week after week last school year about all the fun and sheer joy my husband had experienced while mentored a third grader last year.  I'd ask myself "Why am I not mentoring too?"  I had reached a place in my life where God was calling me to serve and I couldn't ignore His call.

So I arranged my schedule to have a day where I serve Him as a mentor to an adorable kindergartner who always, always meets me with laughter, silliness, sharing and learning. Whatever struggle or bad attitude I might have had before seeing her was wiped away after meeting with this sweet little girl.  Kids Hope is not just a blessing to these children, but to us mentors too! -Lori

What I learned as a mentor #5 - Lucas, Brenda

My wife was a mentor in Kids Hope but I stayed far away from that idea. I had no clue how to interact with kids and the idea of working with a child one on one scared me. I was a film editor and I preferred to hide in a small dark office all day.

My wife went through some challenging sessions at first and I had an "I told you so" look on my face as she came home each week. But over time she bonded with her child and she often came home beaming about how they connected over something that day. By the end of the year I couldn't believe the progress her child had made.

I couldn't sit on the sideline anymore so I signed up to be a mentor too. However, I begged Sarah, the Kids Hope director, to "give me an easy child, please!" The child I was matched up with challenged me, but he could melt my heart with his smile. After every session I ran over to the director and said, "Help! He is doing this and that. What do I do?" And she would calm me down and give me advice that left me feeling empowered. 

A few years have gone by and my life looks dramatically different. I'm now a stay-at-home dad, and I work part-time as a Floortime Specialist for children with autism! So much for my plea to "work with an easy child." It took a few years, but I don't wish that anymore. I've learned one of the greatest gifts in life is to be known just as we are and to know others just as they are. And that is what I experienced in Kids Hope as a mentor. I will always be grateful for the way Kids Hope has impacted my life. -Lucas

I served in Kids Hope as my schedule allowed for around three years. When I first met my student he was a Kindergartner and very rambunctious. We spent our time jumping from one activity to the next and he was always very frank and open about how he was feeling and what he wanted to do (which usually didn't include sitting in a classroom!)

During the next years he was placed in a class for his emotional needs and I saw his maturity and the structure of the class make small, yet impactful changes to his behavior. I know that he and I were placed together for a reason, my patience and understanding of his needs (as I was studying Psychology) and his never-ending yet endearing bounty of energy made for a good match.

I have since starting working in LAUSD for an undeserved population of students in the Foster Youth program. My time with Kids Hope not only prepared me for my current job but makes me immensely grateful for the work current mentors do; as someone now on the inside who is familiar with the needs and lack of adult guidance and mentorship of so many students, I know now more than ever how thankful I am for this program. I wish every school in LAUSD could use mentors and from the bottom of my heart... THANK YOU to everyone who serves. What may feel mundane or uneventful at times, truly does make a difference in students (even if they may not say)! Keep showing up, because you may never know just how needed you truly are! -Brenda

What I've learned as a mentor #4 - Natasha, Daniel

My first year volunteering as a mentor was eye opening. The kid I was mentoring with didn’t have a father figure around and was dealing with that. He would act up and really get angry. I thought about quitting. I was thinking "this is too much to handle".

But after much thought, I saw myself in him. How sometimes we are going through our own storms and act up but God doesn’t give up on us. He sits with us and lets us know that He is with us through the storm. So on the bad days I just sat with my little guy. As I let him go through his storm, I realized that maybe that’s all he needed, to know that’s it’s okay to feel what he was feeling, and to know I would be with him. 

The hour we spent together was so much greater than making sure he did homework or if we read. It was about letting him know that someone was there for him and that they weren’t going to walk out just because things weren’t perfect. He taught me what it really means to show compassion and how important it is to thank God for never leaving us even when we are messy. He and I shared some great times together and I will always be thankful that I got to meet such a wonderful soul. - Natasha

  Kids Hope had a profound impact on my expectations and worldview about the impact of the church on its community. 
     On a micro scale with just my student, I knew that I was making a friend and being a friend to a young boy. I could not tell if I was providing any lift in his life academically or personally. But then his mom wrote about her perception a few years in, and she had rave reviews.
     On a macro level, I have been blown away by the aggregate and seemingly unanimous praise for the impact of the program on the school at large... by administrators and teachers, as well as parents.
     The impact has planted seeds of hope deep in my heart as well. I have always felt personally a deep call to serve youth at-risk, but was pretty overwhelmed trying to figure out where to start, or if I could make any difference at all. With good leadership and committed prayer partners, Kids Hope demonstrated for me one way to "push back the Gates of Hell". My experience with Kids Hope individually and collectively has helped me tangibly move forward and put wind in the sails for my dream to bring foster children into families. -Daniel

What I've learned as a mentor #3 - Sue, Michael

This is my second year of being a mentor with Kids Hope. The first thing that comes to mind is how easy it has been – one hour, one child, one session per week is such a doable commitment. Also I love that it is not 100% tutoring or 100% relating to each other. It’s about academics, relationship and fun and there is never any down time in that one hour. (If I can’t understand their homework then we move on to something else!) Even though I know there are subs available, I find myself never wanting to miss a Kids Hope session because I become attached to my child and I want this one thing to be stable in his life.

This year, knowing my student is living in a shelter, I think about him throughout the week and how difficult it must be for him to get his homework done and get to school on time under less than perfect conditions. It has made me realize that he has so much more to overcome than some of his classmates. So although I always had compassion, this shows me up close and personal just how much these kids are struggling to overcome their odds.

The other thing that strikes me about Kids Hope is how much the ERE kids love it. Other kids not in the program poke their nose in to the classroom a little in awe of what goes on in there. There is a waiting list and the kids who are in the program are so happy to come on their assigned day. There is absolutely no stigma to the program, but quite the opposite. The classroom is such a happy place, Sarah keeps it so well organized and she is the heart of the program. She has heart and a calling for these kids and I am so blessed to be able to work under her. She makes everyone feel valuable and she taught me that you don’t need to be an extrovert to have an impact. You just need a heart of compassion. Come to think of it, that’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned -- valuable impacts can be made by people with a range of personalities and in small, incremental ways. -Sue

When I first committed a year to the program, my intention was a year. Towards the end of the first year, I found God had prepared/expanded the capacity of my heart to commit another year... then another... then another.

When my students time was complete after 6th grade, I was amazed by the expansion of my heart. There was a sadness along with a joy, and I felt our time together was as much for myself as it was for Adam. Looking back at the time we spent together, his fingerprint is in not only my life, but my wife's life as well, as Adam's artwork hangs in our home proudly.

Forget about going away for a weekend of merely discussing of how to draw near to God in deeper commitment and relationship. After one year of commitment to the Kids Hope program, God seemed to actively draw near to me. Year after year, God still continues to teach us lessons from the time spent making ourselves available to the program. -Michael

What I've learned as a mentor #2 - India, Justin

Kids Hope kids at Hume San Diego with our 678 Student Ministries!

Kids Hope showed me what it looked like to be a part of a community as a Christ follower. The church is important, but I love that through KH, the church gave back to their local community. It's important to me to try not to live in a Christian "bubble" and I think interacting with my child's family allowed me to see a lifestyle that was different than mine.

My time with Jada was valuable to her because she didn't get one-on-one attention at home, and our hour was all about her. I believe she felt loved and seen by me. In the hour we spent together, my job was to love this little girl who needed it. Now that I think about it, I see much of my relationship with God through the relationship that Jada and I shared too. She didn't need to do anything to receive my attention and love, she just showed up to the Kids Hope room and got love. Although it feels crazy to me, that's what God does...we show up broken and needy and He is there, just because that's who He is.

-India

When I reflect on my time serving with Kids Hope, I am just amazed at how incredible it was to have shared my time with a precious child and be a presence in his life. And I am so grateful he found my presence to be rewarding because I valued every single minute he shared with me.

I never expected that I would be the mentor of a 4th grader at a nearby elementary school in my sophomore year of college. And I did not anticipate developing a relationship with him that I greatly treasure. I have to give all credit to God for showing me every week that the smallest of actions can have the greatest impact. I’ve learned that it is not my responsibility to solve everyone’s problems and save them in a Superman-like manner. But I do have a responsibility to faithfully act and serve others regardless of how certain I feel about the effect of my efforts. I’ll leave that determination to those I encounter in my journey. They can decide the impact of my efforts on themselves. I just hope to be unhindered by personal aspects in how I serve others because I realize the weight and depth of the smallest actions.

I have learned a lot in my time as a mentor. In fact, titles such as mentor can be distracting, since I received as much if not more as I offered. Everyone has something to share with each other and I’m looking forward to seeing how God continues my story and that of the gifted, kind-hearted Kids Hope child I had the unique opportunity to mentor. -Justin

What I've learned as a mentor #1 - Nancy, Ron

As we approach the end of our 10th full school year, I've asked mentors to share some of what God has taught them as they've served with us. This series of blog posts features 10 men and 10 women who have served in Kids Hope over the last decade. I want to share some of their responses, as I think they'll encourage you! Have a story to share? email Kidshope@cachurch.com

"I really began with the thought that I was going to help someone who needed my help. My surprise came when I realized that these young boys were actually teaching me, and growing my selfish nature into realizing that it is more fun to give, than not: I became someone that got way more than I gave. I guess I learned that there is more to give, learn, and be part of, to make it happen. Donations are critical, but money cannot replace being with someone, looking into their beautiful eyes and realizing first hand how important that they are to God and to me!" -Nancy

It's been said that the greatest hurts can form a heart for the greatest help and healing. My dad came home every night but didn't know the importance of spending time with us kids. He came from a similar family life.

As a child, I had a kid’s church volunteer that was kind and caring. He helped me to believe I was loved and accepted. So I want kids to know they are loved and accepted too. It is probably the most important ministry I have been privileged to be involved with.

With the opportunity to serve I’m finding a path to healing the great sadness of a lost relationship with my dad. I am learning about being there for the most needy and venerable among us.

There is joy in the laughter of a child. There is growth for a child who is not alone in the sad times they experience. There is relief from times of fear for a child when they face big challenges and know they don’t have to stand alone. The delight in a child’s face when they are learning something new is a priceless moment that is shared and can be treasured.

This world doesn’t seem to work very well but sometimes we get to see a merciful Creator moving to bring restoration and transformation. Being part of Kids Hope has shown me that these are healing and hopeful times. -Ron

Advent & "Being With"

This school year I have felt more large-scale evil happening around me than ever before. A former co-worker was killed in the Vegas shooting, a family I know well lost their house in the Santa Rosa fires...this in addition to the normal daily and systemic challenges faced by the families in our Kids Hope program.

Some days it took work to remember that good is happening all around us too. I’ve had to train my eyes to look for that good, and train my heart to remember that ultimately our God is a God of justice; a justice that, try as we may, we cannot humanly administer. We cannot fix the evil in the world, and the powerlessness of that is hard for me. But that’s where our faith has to become both past-oriented (what God has done) and future-oriented (what He has promised to do). He is not usually working in our timing, and not in our way, which can be frustrating…but this is the “already and not-yet” of the gospel that we live into with our very lives. This may be why I love the season of Advent...it's the season where we collectively acknowledge that we are waiting here, actively waiting, for the day when every thing will be made right. 

These are mysterious and profound things, and yet I’m reminded that in the face of evil, as Christians we’re called to show up for the voiceless and disenfranchised. To me that's the active part of waiting. Yes we do what we can, but sometimes in the face of immense challenges the most real and godlike thing to “do” is to “be with”…so that the voiceless know that they matter. So that that the disenfranchised know that that they matter; the homeless, the immigrant, the children…we can’t fix the lives of all the kids and families we serve. And yet we can release immense amounts of power in being with them, in showing up every week, in bringing hope and kindness into our classroom.

People need to know in their suffering that they matter and that they’re heard. There is great healing and power in knowing we’re not alone, in “being with”. And if we believe Jesus was truly human, I’ve heard it said that He holds His humanity throughout all eternity…that is also our calling and that is our power as we wait actively for the King of Kings to be born anew…we keep showing up, in our humanness, in our powerlessness, and remember together that evil does not have the last word.

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it". -John 1:5

Faith & Deeds

There’s a homeless mom in our program who has three boys. The oldest boy is on the autism spectrum. He’s in fourth grade and this is his seventh school. The mom approached me after one of our sessions recently and nervously mentioned that she will have to leave the shelter at the end of December. She shared how worried she was about leaving this school and all the support the boys have here.  But knowing that LAUSD has “schools of choice” for homeless families (meaning they can continue at their home school, even if they can’t prove residency), I let her know that she didn’t have to move them to a new school, we could help her get a permit no matter where she lives so that the boys can stay enrolled here. I offered to fill the paperwork out for her, and there was a huge sense of relief that washed across her face, knowing someone was in her corner, that she wasn’t shouldering all of her immense burden alone. And I felt like if all we do this year is help her keep her kids at Eagle Rock Elementary that’s enough.

I had been looking for low-income housing for myself, so that evening I sent her some links for area rentals that I knew she would qualify for. This part of my job feels like showing up for people, being with people, who are doing their absolute best to make it in the world. This mom is working, taking the bus from her shelter to the school, and doing the herculean task of securing childcare while she works.  She’s parenting three traumatized kids alone. She’s planning to go back to school in January. She’s looking for housing, she’s in counseling…she’s got so much going for her, and yet something as small as transferring the kids to another new school can begin to unravel all this work.

If we can just help her know we are with her and we can help support her…we can’t fix her life, we can’t change everything for her boys…but it was a moment that made me feel like I have learned something useful in my 10 years here. The value of presence, as well as a working knowledge of  the resources available to families in our community.

So, we keep showing up, even though we know only a fraction of what the kids and their families are experiencing.  I think of the faith of our mentors, showing up each day, going to Kids Hope not knowing what’s going to happen, but trusting that something is happening ultimately (or they wouldn’t keep doing it). We dispose ourselves to the unknown in a sense, dislocate ourselves from the comfort of our lives, trusting something is happening, even when we don’t recognize it or feel it. Our mood is inherently unstable, but God is not.